The guilt that comes with hairloss and wearing wigs or toppers.
Losing your hair is a terrible experience for a women to have to go through there’s no doubt about that. Watching your hair fall in front of your very eyes is frightening. Not knowing why it’s happening, when/if it will stop and how you’re going to cope is bound to stir up some major stress and anxiety and even depression in some people.
One thing that we hear all the time when in consultation with our customers is that women often feel incredible guilty for feeling upset regarding their own hair loss.
“My hair’s just thinning when other women are completely bald so what am I moaning about!?”
“My friend has Cancer and here I am crying myself to sleep each night about losing my hair yet I’m healthy in every other way”
“I’m a grown women with kids of my own. I should be stronger than this!”
If any of the above sound or feel familiar to you then that’s because every single women we meet with alopecia has felt this at some point during their hair loss journey.
GUILT is not helpful but that doesn’t stop us from feeling guilty as we look in the mirror, cursing ourselves for being vain, weak or ungrateful to have our health even if we don’t have our hair.
Yes, it’s true. Some people do have Cancer, have lost a leg in a car accident, have been severely burnt in a terrible house fire but emotional pain is emotional pain and the (not so funny) thing about that is we strive to see the positives and they wind up only making us feel more negative and guilty about the situation we find ourselves in.
It’s not vanity or ungratefulness.
It’s human nature.
Well meaning comments from those around us are often terribly unhelpful and only add to the pile of guilt we are already feeling as women with hair loss.
“Cheer up, it could be so much worse!”
“At least you’ve got your health”
“I bet you save a fortune not having to go the the hairdressers!”
“You have a great shaped head, you look great!”
Family and friends, I get it.
You’re trying to cheer up your loved one.
You’re trying (desperately!) to make them smile and see how incredible and beautiful they are inside and out, hair or no hair.
But these comments only end up making us feeling even more guilty.
Tell us we’re beautiful inside and out.
Tell us how much you admire the strength we have for carrying on each day, for getting up and trying when we are in the lows of depression and the highs of our anxiety.
Be honest with us when we try on a wig that looks wrong or unnatural.
Hug us, be patient with us and most of all please NEVER give up on us even when it looks like we may have given up on ourselves.
Hair loss is hard.
No joke and PLEASE no guilt.