How freeing it is to be able to say that these days my baldness is a BIG part of my identity.
I never thought I would ever feel this way about being a bald women but alas, here I am typing out this post hoping that someone, somewhere will find this and be able to take some comfort in the fact that if I can accept being a bald women, then they can too.
There’s nothing particularly special about me.
I’m not really that emotionally strong. I break down and sob every time the clover butter advert comes on the telly for crying out loud and I’m not a fan of horror movies as they literally get stuck in my brain and scare the living shit out of me.
I’m not brave. I freeze and scream at the sight of a spider whilst thinking it’s totally acceptable to have my 5 year old “handle the situation” Sorry about that kiddo … Mummy has some spider issues!
I’m scared of every dog in the world apart from my friend Cath’s beautiful pooch, Teddy, and one of our beautiful customers doggie, Biffy.
I’m scared of going places on my own especially if it involves driving to new places where I don’t know what the roads and traffic will be like. Roundabouts fill me with dread and I will drive miles out of my way to avoid them.
But being bald doesn’t scare me anymore. I don’t look in the mirror and hate the reflection that stares back at me anymore. I don’t hate my make-up-less face with no eyebrows and no eyelashes. My reflection reminds me that I’ve been through a lot but I’m still here.
I see new wrinkles appearing around my eyes everyday it seems and deeper smile lines at the corners of my mouth and you know what? I don’t hate them. They remind me that I laughed a lot over the years.
I jiggle my “cuddly” tummy when I get out of the shower and I don’t hate it anymore. It reminds me that I’ve grown and birthed 3 amazing children over the last 19 years.
I don’t know when this change of mindset happened but I’m so grateful for it.
It’s such a relief to not feel sad and cry over these things anymore. Give me the clover butter ad any day of the week thank you very much!
If you’re reading this hoping to find a magic formula or system on how to accept yourself for exactly who you are then I’m afraid I don’t have the answers you need right now. I’m still learning everyday about my emotions, alopecia and auto-immune disease. Even after 26 years of living with no hair I am still always learning, always growing.
I hope that reading this does offer you some reassurance though.
Reassurance that you can do some pretty amazing things hair or no hair.
Reassurance that you absolutely can and will find love in your life if you don’t have it already.
Reassurance that you can be successful in anything you set your mind to achieving.
Hair loss drastically changes our appearance and the way we identify with ourselves but it can also change how we view ourselves for the better. If you let it.